Posts

You win.

Dear W, I have a confession to make, a year and a half ago I made the bravest decision I have ever done since meeting you: I blocked you, not because I didn't care about you anymore, but because I cared too much. The confession is, sadly , I still do. I can't pretend anymore. Every wall I built around my heart during this time is falling apart. And I try my best to patch everything up as soon as it crumbles, but it's all falling to pieces at the speed of light. Like me. You know what I did? I went to collect those pieces, and to my dismay, staring closely, I found out that what I thought was concrete surrounding my heart, was actually tiny fragments of us, of our shared memories, and of blank memories that we will never develop together, that we will never live. I remember I told you once that I cannot keep living in the shadows of what we once had, and for a long while I really thought I didn't. I really hoped I didn't. But deep down? I liked the shadow. I liked yo...

I fell in love with potential .. and it hurts like hell.

I knew he wasn't the right one for me, but don't we all love to get a taste of the forbidden? To get to feel his breath on my skin, his lips on my neck, his touch all over my body is something I would cross hills and mountains barefoot to get to again. I knew he wasn't the best thing for me, and yet I chose to stay. Is this what love should be like? is this supposed to be called sacrifice? Then why was I sad all the time? Why am I sad all the time? I hate the fact that you're the only one who understands me. I hate the fact that I want you to be the only one who understands me.
 Deafening silence, pitch-black sky, the moon is full again, rain is slowly starting to drop. the slow breeze caresses my face, what is everybody doing on this perfectly perfect night? Sometimes, I'd like to imagine what every single person could be doing at this precise moment. I am writing this piece, what about the others? some might be slowly drifting to sleep in front of the T.V, some might be eating their dinner, some might be working late at a factory. Some might be kissing a loved one goodbye at the airport, others might be kissing their loved one for the first time ever. Some might be having one hell of a fight over a stupid thing they probably will forget about in a couple of weeks, others might be making love. Some might be trying to conceive, others may be welcoming their firstborn at this very moment. But also, some might be breathing their last breath, some might be struggling to stay warm, some might be having their worst night ever, some might not be even aware of i...

Questions I have no answers to

How can we say something without saying anything? And how can we say everything without saying nothing? And how can we feel something that was long gone? And how can we not feel something fairly new? And how can we forget it happened without breaking our hearts to pieces? And how can we reignite our love before it ever ceases?

The Day I Never Realized It Was The End

Why isn't there a divine warning for when we see the person we love for the last time? No, this is not a tragic love story that ends in death. This is an unrequited love story that ends in separation. Separation of bodies , of souls , of worlds . I still remember the last day I saw him. It was a Tuesday. We were both on the same bus. He was all alone, standing in all his splendor, his phone in his hand, and his earphones blaring music in his ears. He was showing off that breathtaking smile of his. I know that smile; he used to smile at me the same way. Was he talking to her? Was she the one making him laugh now? Or was he looking at her pictures and admiring her?  It hurts overthinking about all of that, so I assumed that he was watching some funny video of a cat going crazy over fallen tree leaves. But I know he wasn't. I chose to believe that nonetheless, hoping that the ache will slowly fade away. It's been almost a year since I last saw him on that bus. I had a friend w...

Love and Hate

How can I love you and hate you at the same intensity at the same time? Love: staying in bed next to you on a rainy afternoon, talking about stuff like how our day went, and what sort of things we did with our friends. Love: seeing you in all your glory when you pick me up from work after an exhausting day of chain-meetings. Love: when you kiss my forehead every morning to ease the pain of not seeing you for the whole daytime. And love: when you hold my hand to show off that I'm yours forever. I am utterly, unconditionally in love. But how can these days of pure romance and tender affection fly by so quickly? How can the things that made me love you so much make me hate you so much? Hate: when you go to the "gym" and leave me in bed alone on a rainy afternoon, talking to myself about how my day went horribly . Hate: when you pick me up from work but instead of looking at me, you focus on every other girl on the street. Hate: when you kiss my forehead every morning,...

A Taco, Sushi, And a Sandwich

A taco, sushi, and a sandwich got out of a bar It wasn't great, it wasn't nice, and it wasn't far They were walking on foot all night Just hoping they'll get a ride A taco, sushi, and a sandwich got on a train Wishing it would take them so far away Their lives were stolen, broken, and grey And their efforts to hide the pain were in vain A taco, sushi, and a sandwich are now hungry They ordered a heart, a brain, and a kidney And they were a little bit tipsy They weren't aware that what they did was risky A taco, sushi, and a sandwich from all races They were from Mexican, Japanese and European traces And they were all wearing braces To cover the bruises on their faces A taco, sushi, and a sandwich weren't feeling OK They remembered the days they screamed OLAY but then when it happened, they ran away And they weren't planning to obey A taco, sushi, and a sandwich just got busted The police are here and they're gonna get arrested ...