The Day I Never Realized It Was The End

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Why isn't there a divine warning for when we see the person we love for the last time?

No, this is not a tragic love story that ends in death. This is an unrequited love story that ends in separation.
Separation of bodies, of souls, of worlds.

I still remember the last day I saw him. It was a Tuesday. We were both on the same bus. He was all alone, standing in all his splendor, his phone in his hand, and his earphones blaring music in his ears. He was showing off that breathtaking smile of his. I know that smile; he used to smile at me the same way. Was he talking to her? Was she the one making him laugh now? Or was he looking at her pictures and admiring her?  It hurts overthinking about all of that, so I assumed that he was watching some funny video of a cat going crazy over fallen tree leaves. But I know he wasn't. I chose to believe that nonetheless, hoping that the ache will slowly fade away.

It's been almost a year since I last saw him on that bus. I had a friend with me; we were laughing. I was secretly hoping that he would glimpse to check me out; to see with his own eyes that I moved on. But I didn't move on. Why did I ignore him on that day? Why didn't I say something? A simple "Hey, how's it going?" would've been a game-changer, wouldn't it? 

If I knew that was the last day I would see him, I would've been more courageous. I would've gone to him and asked him how's it going. I would've cracked a joke that made him laugh like old times. I would've told him how much he still means to me. I would've kissed him so passionately that he wouldn't have been able to pull his lips away from mine. I would've made him crave me as I crave him.

But it's too late now. Too late for the "What ifs," too late for the "I would've," too late for the "I wish I had the guts to say." Our paths have intertwined for so long that I took it for granted. Now that it has disentangled, I wish for more. I wish he comes back to his senses and claims my attention. But if wishes were the currency by which we journey in our love, I would've probably still believed in genies.

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